It’s been quite serious around here of late, not that I’ve ever made a habit of not discussing uncomfortable or real situations, but even so, sometimes it’s time for a list.
And because I’m generally crabby and cynical of late, this list will be all the things that I just do not give a damn about:
- College football. Okay, all football. And all other Sportsball.
- Pumpkin spice.
- 99% of TV shows.
- Pennies. Completely useless. (Although I no longer throw them away, I now put them in a separate change jar, far away from the rest of my change.)
- Award shows. I’m already bored.
I just don’t give a damn.
- Lip gloss, lip stick, lip stain. Can’t do it.
- Voicemail. Upgraded my phone last November, haven’t set up my voicemail yet, which is an improvement from my previous phone where I’d just go months and months not listening to the messages. At least now people are aware they couldn’t leave a message.
- Trying to figure out Instagram stories…I just…meh. Not interested.
- Other people’s opinions on my taste in music or books or the 1% of TV shows that I enjoy. (A note: I don’t have “cool” or “trendy” or even “popular” taste in any of those areas. And I don’t care.)
- Celebrities…I cannot keep up with the gossip/romance/weight loss/whatever.
Yep, don’t give a damn.
- Lately, Facebook. I go through phases, the last few months I’ve been on the outs with Facebook and have not noticed any significant decrease in my online happiness.
- Boutique hotels. Honestly, 9 out of 10 times I’d rather just book something I know will be clean and reliable, and if that’s a chain, great. I do not need hipster sheets on my vacation.
- Flossing. I’ve tried to care, I have, but I just don’t. Sorry, Dentist.
- Video games. I literally have never even played a Mario game. Ever.
- “Tradition.” I’m not a monster, I like upholding and creating new family traditions or self-care traditions or what-have-you. But I refuse to do something stupid or ridiculous for the sake of *cue Tevye arms* TRADITION!Don’t give a damn.
Yep. Fiddler on the Roof reference, right there. Told you I don’t have cool taste in music.
Still don’t give a damn.
- The brand of my yoga/workout pants, only requirement is they be black.
- My eyebrows.
- Star Wars. Star Trek. The enormity of the difference between the two.
- The fact that diet soda will probably kill me, I’m drinking it anyway.
I just don’t give a damn.
For some reason, I feel it necessary to mention that “I don’t give a damn” was the 7th iteration of this sentence. Various other swears and combination swears-some quite funny–were typed in, and deleted. Honestly, “damn” was the least funny and least crass….but ultimately, the things I don’t give a flying fuck about are a lot more antagonistic than this fairly banal list. For example: I don’t give a flying fuck about bigots, perverts, Trumpists, racists, misogynists, dickwads, rape apologists, zealots, and anti-feminists. But, I am a lot more adamantly opposed to those things than I am to, say, the Emmy’s, or Star Wars, which hardly register on my consciousness.
Confession: it took many minutes to decide that a) it’s time to go to bed instead of come up with one more thing about which I am apathetic; b) 19 is a perfectly acceptable number of things in a list, because 19 is a prime number. And while there are 19 things I don’t give a damn about, the prime-ness of the number of items on that list is something about which I am deeply concerned.