A few things I hate. Sorry, Valentine's Day.

We all have things that drive us batty, right? Sometimes a bit crazier than average? Well, I seem to be in a cranky-puss mood the last couple of weeks–yes, my ribs still hurt like hell; no, I haven’t found a medical professional in Arizona who can bring me any relief; yes, I’ve tried every combination of over-the-counter medication; no, I’m not super enthused about needing narcotics every single day; yes, this has been going on for almost a month solid!

So, instead of trying to get my hearts-and-flowers-and-smooshy-Valentine’s jam on, I’m just gonna work with what I’ve got. Irritation and general annoyance. *For the record, I actually like Valentine’s Day, not the huge romantic gestures part of it, but things like frosted sugar cookies and construction paper hearts on every conceivable surface.

  1. Ribs, skeletal issues, body parts that hurt and will not be comforted. Ya’ll, I’m nearing the part where I am literally driven crazy by a back and neck and shoulder that just will not quit. I can see how people with chronic pain will go to drastic measures for a chance of reducing the pain. If a fairy-doctor told me to climb Mt. McKinley and locate the rare blue flower with red leaves, make it into tea, and then pour it over my head, I would book airfare to Alaska immediately.
  2. Pants that are too short. I realize the capri and ankle-length pant have been “in” for quite a while, and I’ve tried, I really have, but I just feel like my pants are too short.
  3.  Nasty drinking water. Yes, it’s wet and nourishing, but I don’t want it to taste like iron, or dirt, or feet.
  5. “Just for show.” I see stuff all over the place that is styled or Photoshopped to within an inch of it’s life in order to sell a particular idea, feeling, or encourage some kind of purchase. This drives me crazy; it just seems so fake and disingenuous.
  6. Ditto pockets on clothing that are not actually pockets, just pretend pockets. STOP LYING TO ME, POCKETS!
  7. I won’t eat chicken, or popcorn, or spicy food, or raisins, or blueberries, and half the time I will pick olives off whatever food they have sullied and the other half of the time I’ll put one on each finger and eat them like lollipops.
  8. Donald Trump. Just, no. No, no, no.
  9. The nine prickly hairs that incessantly grow on my chin. And the one dead center in the middle of my chest. Why!?
  10. Autocorrect. Hate, loathe, despise. Refer to it as Autocucumber at all times, out of spite.
  11. When people ask questions that can EASILY be answered by Google. I mean, I suppose I appreciate the thought that you assume my brain has the all-reaching power of a supercomputer, but why can’t you just look it up yourself? This is particularly annoying when people ask this kind of crap online/on social media.
  12. Those pop-up windows asking you to join a mailing list/download the mobile app  after you’ve been on a website for approximately 2 seconds. Um, hello? I don’t even know who you are/what you offer/how you live your life. WHY WOULD I WANT TO AGREE TO GIVE YOU MY EMAIL ADDRESS OR ACCESS TO MY PHONE APPLICATIONS!?!?!
  13. The suburbs. I am not adjusting well.
  14. Emojiglyphics. The cute little smiley faces are fine; adding a heart or a prancing pony or whatever after your message is fine. Substituting words for sort-of-applicable pixelated images? Stop. (Also, why is this a default setting in my phone!?)
  15. Dark tan paint, the kind that covers the interior of almost all households in Arizona. I would take builder’s beige in a heartbeat over this yellowy-brown, it’s seriously the color of sad cardboard and was on every. single. vertical surface. I’ve got 2 rooms left to repaint and they are taunting me.

I’ve made a list of things I hate before; the carry-overs are popcorn and  chin hair, although I have more chin hairs now than I did then. (Sob!) What do you hate? What drives you crazy? Pet peeves? Annoyances? Eye-roll generators?

Harriet sig