Resist, for your own emotional health

Ya’ll, it’s been a rough weekend. And I say that from a super privileged place, I slept in a comfortable bed, in my own home, with plenty to eat and plenty to wear and WiFi at all times and the Cheeto in Chief was not issuing Executive Orders that directly affect me, my family, or my livelihood. I am ridiculously lucky not to have been born in Aleppo, or Libya, or, Flint, Michigan.

For most of the fall, since the election, actually, I have been living in a state of general panic and anxiety, some election related, some general life stuffs. I joined groups dedicated to building bridges, trying to work together, trying to understand…and I think that is important, and meaningful.

HOWEVER, the response in the last few days has done so much more to heal my heart. The sheer numbers of people who are determined to stop the psycho in any way they can has renewed my faith in humanity, honestly. It has renewed my faith in (some) Americans. I know there are many many people who are thrilled with the Cheeto’s election and his actions this last week, and I have so many things to say to them, the least of which is “fuck off.” But, in the interest of keeping it civil, I am choosing right now not to engage. For me, there are much better ways to spend my time and energy, and seeing the cavalry show up in similar ways is lifting my soul.

  • The ACLU has received almost $20 million in donations since the White House ban on immigration, they usually get $3-$4 per YEAR in donations.
  • Tens of thousands of people have shown up at airports and state houses around the country to protest the ban on immigration from carefully selected Muslim-majority countries (where Mr. Cheeto doesn’t have any business interests).
  • Last week hundreds of thousands of women around the country marched to be heard, to be seen, to assert that we have rights and we are a force to be reckoned with.
  • The National Parks Service has gone rogue in defiance. Ditto the State Department and almost every science-based national organization in defiance of the bullshit coming from the White House.
  • Millions of people are protesting on other forms, posting on social media, rallying, RESISTING.

THIS is the America I am proud of, the ones who get their boots on the ground and DO the thing. We jam up congressional staffers, we writer letter, sign petitions, make call after call after call…and then when none of that works? We show up with signs, we make noise, we refuse to back down. This type of action makes me happier than anything has since the election.

Keep it coming, America.

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P.S. Do you remember in The Hunger Games when Katniss ends up with Peeta and her reasoning is because Gale was too into fighting, too committed to The Cause, and she just wanted to live her quiet life with Peeta because he knew what she’d been through and would help and support her? That aggravated me to no end, although who I am to dictate her love preference. BUT! The rationale that she should reject him because he continued to fight the worst kind of dictator in all the land rang so hollow to me. (I also really hated Book 3 in general and the ending specifically, so there’s that.) Gale would be wearing a pink pussy hat and marching with the feminists. Gale would be at the airport with signs and snacks. Gale would be calling his congressional representatives every damn day and his timeline will be full of resistance and revolution against the forces that are trying to destroy his country. Gale will not go softly into the night. Be like Gale.

A different kind of shopping: Giving Tuesday

I finished my Christmas shopping last weekend, I get super anxious having it wait any longer than mid-November, honestly. I set aside dollars for my Christmas budget January – October, so there is no reason for me to really wait. Also, I loathe Black Friday, so waiting for some discounts doesn’t factor into my thinking at all.

So, I skipped out of Black Friday, and Cyber Monday, and am getting a jump on Giving Tuesday. And if you’re hunting down the deals today, that’s cool, but consider throwing some dollars to some local and national organizations as well.

Planned Parenthood, in honor of Mike Pence, of course
National Organization for Women
American Civil Liberties Union
Southern Poverty Law Center
Standing Rock Reservation
Black Lives Matter
Water for Flint, Michigan (yep, they still don’t have safe water)
Dressember, fighting for freedom for current slaves worldwide
Aleppo, Syria Child Refugee Crisis (through UNICEF)
The Red Cross (all donations today will be matched)
Your local LGBQT activism group
Your local political party precinct
Your school board/district foundation
Your local K-12 school (their Arts department? Library?)
Your local humane society
Your local library
A local or national church organization that promotes equality and protecting the vulnerable, downtrodden, and oppressed (I should not have to specify, but not all church or religious organizations do this).

Thanksgiving just happened, let’s try not to forget all the privilege we have and our responsibility to help those who have less. Donations don’t have to be huge, $10 dollars to a few organizations that champion a cause you are passionate about can truly make a difference. If this last election disaster season has taught me anything, it is that EVERY single person counts, the little seemingly insignificant daily acts we do matter.

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Love (noun) vs. Love (verb)

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Love Wins.

That is one of the placating statements in times of violence or fear or hate. Love Wins. I’ve said it. You’ve said it. I’ve truly believed it. In the end, love wins. Good always triumphs over evil, love will prevail over hate.

It’s not enough. And, depending on how you are defining “love” it’s not even true.

Love as an idea or a pinnacle of humanity is not enough, as a descriptive noun it gives warm fuzzies but does not promote change of behavior. However, love as an action, now that’s something else entirely. Love as a verb is scary, and determined, and all-consuming, it keeps you up at night.

Love is flawed but trying. Love is committed and forgiving, but has no patience with complacency. Love is a living thing that must be tended to, encouraged, and allowed to grow. Love is something you DO, actively, and continually. Love as a VERB is a CHOICE. I’m not talking about romantic, sexual love, the twitterpated butterflies early in a relationship. I am talking about something much more, much bigger, and much more difficult to maintain.

A wise man once said “Love your neighbor,” what he meant was to treat all humans as if they were your own. To fiercely protect the unprotected as if they were your own babies, your own blood. To stand up for the downtrodden and the abused as if they were YOUR parent, YOUR child, YOUR lover, and YOUR friend. To champion the weak and oppressed as if your own happiness depended on it.

We are there. The forces of hate and fear and vitriol are growing stronger and stronger, or, they are the same as they always have been but we are hearing about them more now. Christians who are truly following the admonitions of Christ can no longer “pray for XYZ” and consider their work done. Humanists who claim to be anti-racist or anti-sexist or anti-whatever can no longer leave it at that. Love as an action is not complacent, it is not pithy, and it CERTAINLY is not convenient. It’s time to get uncomfortable, folks. It is time to take a stand and dig in our heels, those who are fostering and encouraging hate and fear have a huge jump on us already, and to combat that cloud of evil we need to do more than sit at home and offer hashtag prayers.

I am done with this shitty status quo. In 5, or 15, or 50 years I will not say “oh, I sat by and let that happen, I didn’t want to get involved.” I’m not entirely sure what my next steps are, but I have had enough. Enough of rape and domestic violence, enough anti-woman culture, enough violence towards women by men, enough #NotAllMen, enough violence towards ethnic or religious groups by those who refuse to understand, enough vitriol, enough hate crimes towards LGBTQ persons, enough racism, enough police brutality towards those with dark skin, enough #AllLivesMatter, enough mass shootings and enough elementary school kids being killed in broad daylight, enough young black people being shot for NO GOOD REASON. Enough. I am done. And I am no longer going to be polite and nice about it.

I will love fiercely and without abandon, and if that means I will literally crush hate and fear and all the loathsome ideology that comes with it, so be it. If you (the metaphorical “you”) want to be racist, or sexist, or anti-feminist, or homophobic, or trans-phobic, or anti-Islam-because-they-are-all-terrorists, or pro-zero-gun-regulation-whatsoever-because-what-have-guns-ever-done-to-anyone, or in ANY way promote the unequal treatment of humans, you will be tongue-lashed without mercy. Out of love. Because that shit is not okay. Love is not passive. Passivity is apathy, a definitive lack of action. Love is a verb. It’s time we start acting that way.

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