A number of years ago I got in a pretty nasty car accident and my neck and back have just never been the same. I was out of commission and packed in ice for months, and it was a couple of years before I was able to move anything close to the way I had before; I still deal with daily pain, discomfort, and achey-ness. To combat these ills I sleep on a special orthopedic pillow designed to cushion my head just so and support my neck just so; most nights I have a complicated pillow-wedge under my knees to eliminate pressure on my lower back and increase circulation in my feet. I sleep with a mouth-guard to prevent teeth grinding; I often sleep with an eye mask because light is a sure-fire way to wake me up. You guys, I am a VISION OF BEAUTY at night! Mr. Blue Eyes is a lucky, lucky man. A few nights ago I was so restless I moved to the floor…of the dining room…because the couch was just soooo far away. I dropped off immediately and sleeping on a thin rental-grade carpet over old wood floors was INFINITELY more comfortable than the couch. And now I wish I could take back every couch nap from the last 5 years.*
I’m a married lady and probably shouldn’t admit this–but I have definitely lost track of the number of people I kissed prior to Blue Eyes. I mean, it’s not like I kept a list or something; I could give you a range, but again, I’m a lady and that’s not the type of thing we ladies publish. However, apparently, um, the number is pretty high? The handful of people who have cajoled it out of me were, maybe, possibly, slack-jaw shocked. Ahem.)
I have an unnatural (and probably unnecessary) obsession with grooming the man I love; and Blue Eyes–god love him–indulges me. I pluck his eyebrows; I give him pedicures which include painting his toes in hot pink or neon green; I trim his cuticles and file his nails; I shave the hairs on his neck and pop the occasional pimple on his back. Basically, I am a chimpanzee and Blue Eyes is the subject of my need to engage in social grooming–he’s a very willing baboon, bless his heart.
I don’t get YouTube. I mean, I understand the concept and general purpose, of course. But I do not understand how someone can sped hours watching music videos or video clips. But, then, if any video is over 30 seconds I just don’t have the attention span to watch the whole thing. GIFs are much more my style.
I cannot go 24 hours (read: 24 minutes) without having my toenails painted. I mean, I don’t repaint my toes every day or anything, I just cannot have them polish free…ever. It makes me anxious and itchy and blotchy to have nekkid toes. I take the old polish off, trim, file, and immediately put on a bright new color. Even taking a bath or something in-between the removal and repainting makes me twitch. Clearly, this is A Thing with me. (Current hue: a cobalt-purpley blue)
What are your Friday Confessions?
*It may be time to seriously consider buying a new couch instead of making do with a truck-load of hand-me-downs.