Category Archives: Lists

Essentials

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We all have parts of our regular life that are essential to us, and I think most of us differ on what, exactly, makes up those essentials. For some it’s a killer pair of jeans, or a specific workout, or maybe a particular app on their phone. Looking at this list I see a lot of contradictions, although needing both sides of the bell curve, avoiding extremes, and trying to find balance seems like a healthy way to move forward, not a contradiction. Right? (RIGHT?!) Lawsy, I hope so. Otherwise I’m a walking contradiction fueled by Diet Dr. Pepper…not that there is anything wrong with that.

My Life Essentials:

Putzing: This is my quirky way of unwinding; I pad around the house, imagining updates and new paint colors, sketching out blueprints and planning renovations in my head. Or I’ll wander around the produce section of the grocery store touching the fruit and veggies. I wander around my own head, touching old memories and looking at old ideas, testing them to see if they still work. I make lists just to cross things off, I imagine fantastical things. Putzing is my alone time, my detox time. I can putz for hours.

Adventure: As a definitive counter-point to putzing, I also crave adventure like, woah. I love exploring new places and trying new things, that could be a city across the country or it could be a new restaurant with some kind of exotic fusion menu. I am an interesting mix of homebody (see above) and adventure seeker, and it can sometimes be hard to figure out which will solve feelings of restlessness or anxiety. But, I need both. I desperately need both.

Books: I remember the first book I ever bought with my own money. I was working two jobs, saving up for my first semester of college and decided to buy The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings series and re-read them before the first movie came out in theaters (what up, 2001). I bought the cheapest version the bookstore had—a $4.99 half-sized paperback—one at a time over a few weeks. In the last 15 years I have amassed a considerable book collection and a bonafide library in my office (and the living room). Sitting in front of those shelves, running my fingers over the spines, reorganizing my “To Read First” shelf (yes, shelf) and reliving the stories and memories associated with previously read titles is one of the most calming things I can do at home. (See: putzing) Does this make me materialistic? Maybe. Do I care? No. I’m a paper-and-ink book person and I’m not willing to fight it.

Inspiring and Interesting: My walls are covered in art and my shelves are crammed with books; I’m kind of a bad minimalist that way. But I cannot explain how much joy I get from art on my walls and books on my shelves. I love learning. I love learning about new things, new people, new words, new ideas. I love learning old things for the first time, random facts, chronology of world events, social or geographic history or myth of far-flung places and interesting factoids close to home. I am also trying to have at least one piece of original art in every room of our home, and so far that plan has worked out splendidly (yes, even the laundry room, it’s a tiny watercolor of lavender fields that is just lovely on the lavender walls). (Yes, my laundry room walls are intentionally lavender.) (Stop judging me, they are perfection.)

Razor sharp kitchen knives: I love to cook and I find mincing vegetables therapeutic, but only if my knife is crazy-sharp. I found a gentleman pretty close to me who has a knife sharpening hobby out of his spare room, he is my favorite Arizona discovery so far. For $3-$5 per knife he does his honing magic and I continue to mince.

Chapstick: I’m not talking about lipgloss, or lipstick (neither of which I have worn for years). I’m not talking about Chapstick brand stuff that is pink with a waxy flavor. I will wear Bert’s Bees in a ruby grapefruit color, but I prefer Natural Ice, although it is next to impossible to find in grocery stores, gas stations, big box stores, or boutique stores. Sometimes I’ll find it at REI and stock up. Last fall I finally got the brilliant idea to order a dozen tubes of Natural Ice from Amazon. They are now nicely lined up in my dresser waiting to rescue my chapped and dry lips.

Diet Dr. Pepper: My caffeine source of choice, preferably with a tremendous dose of fresh-squeezed lime, and a straw. I know, I know, “Soda is so bad for you!” and “Aspartame will kill you!” but I can’t help it! The heart wants what the heart wants! To my credit, I have drastically reduced my DDP intake, I now have a 12-ounce can (and a whole lime) at lunch, and drink water the rest of the time. Well, except for weekends, more soda on the weekends. And on road trips. And when I’m stressed or sad…ok, so I might have a DDP consumption problem….

Sunshine: I am one of those people who will never go tanning, I wear sunscreen always. However, just a few minutes of sunshine will lift my mood in amazing ways. I do some of my best putzing sitting in a sunny spot. Seattle weather would probably be better for my skin (and save me thousands on tubes of sunscreen), but

Sparkly Unicorns and Pegasus Ponies: I am (mostly) kidding on this one. (Or am I?)  Hmm…actually? Not really kidding at all, but I should probably define this need as “whimsical sarcasm” instead. A generous dose of whimsical sarcasm is a pretty good explanation of why I send hundreds of funny, snarky, sometimes dirty, and generally giggle-inducing photos and texts in any given week. Yes, hundreds. I guess this is the reason Tumblr was invented, but there is just something about getting a laugh-cry inducing text from a friend that subscribing to a social media feed cannot provide.

 

My Favorite Non-Essentials:

High Thread Count Sheets: Several years ago my older brother found 1,000 count Egyptian cotton sheets on Amazon for something crazy like $100 dollars. He ordered them immediately. I ordered them immediately. Several other family members ordered them. They are heaven. I don’t care if 1,000 count sheets don’t come in cute polka-dots, or fancy stripes, or chevrons, or mod floral graphic print. I have a hard time sleeping in scratchy sheets and silky sheets are right out. I need 1,000 count Egyptian cotton, preferably white because I’m high maintenance like that.

Office Supplies: I have an unhealthy obsession with office supplies. Stacks of college-ruled paper, packages of Sharpie’s in a rainbow of colors, boxes of unsharpened pencils waiting to be ground to a point and fill a notebook with ideas. I love office supplies.

Fresh Flowers and/or Live Plants: I love having fresh flowers on my dining room table. I have very rarely had anything fancier than a small bouquet from the grocery store, but even $6 dollars worth of tulips will keep me smiling for two weeks. About a year ago I tried my gray-ish-green thumb at houesplants, and except for a few tragedies, I have managed to keep a couple of them alive for quite a while, move to ARizona be damned! We’ll see how long that lasts.

 

Things I Could Easily Live Without:

Smart Phones: I know, it sounds nuts, but I am becoming more and more anti-smart phone. It’s not that I don’t like the convenience of having a mini computer-communicator-television-navigational system-word processor-camera the size of a credit card, it’s just that after sitting at a computer for 9 hours a day with the expectation to respond to email promptly and answer the phone by the second ring I kind of relish the idea of walking away from technology for a couple of hours. I don’t know, maybe I’m not using my phone the right way, but I very much prefer a larger screen for most of my online needs (actually, my dual-screen set-up has spoiled me forever for even a laptop screen, maybe that means I’m getting old and short-sighted, but a 2×4″ screen just cannot compare to TWO large monitors and task lighting. Sigh. I’m old, aren’t I.

Voice mail: I hate voicemail, hate it. Remember when voicemail used to be an add-on? My cell phone is now also my work phone and I have to retrieve messages, but it is one of my most loathed tasks.

Popcorn: I haven’t had popcorn since I was in junior high, and I don’t miss it. I like the smell well enough, I won’t gag at the movies or anything, but I have absolutely no desire to try it. None.

 

What are your life essentials? What can you life without? It just occured to me that I haven’t listed people anywhere on here, and maybe there is some deeper psychological flaw that I should be concerned about, but for now I’m just going to disclaim* that Some People are essential, Others are hit or miss, and A Few I could easily do without. (*Disclaim is a verb, right?)

Harriet sig

 

 

 

Format for this post inspired (okay, blatantly heisted) from Stacy at The Cat’s Meow.

Love and Hate Tuesday: Volume 1

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Alright, friends, it’s time for a little Love & Hate Tuesday where I counteract the things I currently loathe with something positive on sort-of the same subject. Seems like a good exercise for a cranky pants like me, no? I can’t take all the credit, however, “Love and Hate Friday” is the brainchild of the lovely Janet from any moons ago. Today it just seemed fitting to resurrect her idea. But, it’s Tuesday, not Friday, so…well, you understand.

Love: Happy spring flowers, flowering trees, tulips, daffodils, all those hallmarks of spring.
Love: All the images on Twitter and Instagram of gorgeous blossoms!
Hate: Um, there isn’t really a proper spring here in Arizona, and my neighborhood has very few flowers, a few flowering cacti and one Jacaranda tree, and that’s about it.

Love: NCIS starring the delightful Leroy Jethro Gibbs, DiNozzo, and forensic genius Abby. I’ve spent the last few months re-watching all TWELVE seasons of it on Netflix. Also? I don’t care how long Bishop is on that show, my heart will forever wish she was Ziva David.
Hate: Now I have to find a new show to love. Twelve seasons is a long time to commit to one set of characters, but I’m super invested now and I’m worried any new show just won’t live up to my (probably unrealistic) expectations from a TV cast.
Hate: Watching shows like that make me seriously question my life choices. Once upon a time I had a full ride scholarship to Air Force Academy and was ready to start training to be a fighter pilot and then, perhaps, move towards a career in the FBI or CIA or something, or maybe a military attorney. Watching people stop the bad guys always makes me wonder, a bit, what would have happened to me in that life trajectory.

Love: Having enough money to buy everything we need and survive without too much financial anxiety
Hate: Still feeling like an extra $100 dollars would make my life immeasurably more satisfying. Sigh. I’m working on it.

Love: Remembering how to write again consistently. Yes, I just watched a crap-ton of NCIS (12 seasons, 24 episodes per season), but I have also been a lot better about spending  a little time every day to write in a personal journal (what?!) and have been writing more consistently for this site as well.
Hate: There are days and weeks when I feel so paralyzed by anxiety and doubt and panic that it makes it hard to create anything, I struggle with sentences and allowing myself an imaginative/creative thought (“But what if that’s wrong!?”), let alone trying to write 600 words about any given topic. Ugh. Anxiety sucks.

Love: Being able to work in fuzzy slippers any given day, working from home full time definitely has it’s benefits.
Hate: How sedentary my life has become. I can sit at my desk for hours at a time without even realizing it and my only real movement is walking 300 steps to the mail box. I need a pretty significant change in my exercise and activity levels to counteract this lifestyle change or I will be busting out of my stretchy pants really really soon.

Love: Looking for cute workout clothes online, I’m not super vain, but I am so much more likely to get my sweat on in something I enjoy wearing that has moisture-wicking abilities and is in a fun, bright color.
Hate: That online shopping doesn’t burn more calories. Get it together, science!

Love: That I have space for a few vegetables in the backyard. Blue Eyes built me some garden boxes and they are filled up with hopes and seedlings. I bought the tomatoes, peppers, yellow squash, and herbs as little plants, the rest I planted as seeds and am SO ANXIOUS about them coming up and growing strong.
Hate: Studying a plot of brown dirt day-after-day, waiting for little green leaves to come to the surface. Oh my goodness, I did not realize gardening was such an angst-inducing sport! So far I have 3 zucchini sprouts (out of 12-14), and 3 bean plants (out of a whole packet of seeds), zero watermelon, zero butternut squash, and two sunflowers (out of 2 packets of seeds). WHERE ARE MY LITTLE PLANTS! COME UP, LITTLE PLANTS!!

What about you? What do you love and hate today?

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If I Had A Million Dollars: Episode 2

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I have a very important announcement: I did not win the lottery. I do not have one million dollars. But, it’s fun to spend imaginary dollars anyway, zero guilt and zero product depreciation and no buyer’s remorse. One of my favorite day dreams is generating a list of what I would do or buy with the following sums of money, were they to magically appear in my wallet/off-shore account: $100, $1,000, $10,000, $100,000, and $1,000,000. The last time I wrote this list was almost two years ago, it was interesting to see what would stay the same and what would change.

$100:

I am embarrassed to say that this is the exact same thing as it was two years ago: all new underwear. Have I bought new underwear in the last two years? Um, yes? At least, I’ve bought a few, and I tossed some of the more threadbare ones…but I still feel like I have grungy underthings. That is a very very sad state of affairs to face every morning for TWO YEARS. To my credit, I did invest in two new sports bras, no cheap purchase for necessary job requirements (hello, bazoomas!).

$1,000:

I’d absolutely spend this on things for our yard. I’m talking citrus and pomegranate trees, leafy palm trees, oleander and jasmine, and bright bougainvillea everywhere. I want some grass to relax on, a fire pit, and some patio furniture so we can spend time out there without resorting to camp chairs. I realize that in just a few short months the temperature will be in the triple digits almost constantly, so we’ll probably need one of those mister systems as well so I can sit in the shade and be misted with cool water and have someone fan me with a palm frond and feed me grapes. I’m gonna need more than $1,000 for this, aren’t I. Hmmm.

A note: Blue Eyes and I upgraded to a California King sized mattress a few months ago, and it is heaven. This was my $1,000 wish from two years ago, and hey, look at that, wishes do come true! So, by the same logic, in two years my backyard should be GORGEOUS!

$10,000:

A new master bathroom. Now, the room is not nearly as offending as the yellow-tile monstrosity I lived with for almost 10 years in Salt Lake, but it certainly is in need of an update. The shower is fiberglass and permanently stained and mucky around the edges. The tub is hardly deep enough to cover my nickles when I get into it. The vanity drawers are wonky, the counter top is yellowing and stained, the faucets for the double sinks don’t match, the lights aren’t hung evenly, and the whole thing is just a little too creamy for me. I did paint it all a brighter gray instead of the sad brown it was, and that did wonders. But I would love a free-standing claw-foot-like soaking tub, a shower with a seat in it so I can easily shave my legs, and a shelf to hold all my bath potions. I would like to update the vanity and have the counter top raised about 6 inches to prevent crouching whilst negotiating my mascara wand or toothbrush. I want more than one outlet (!!! WHY?!) and better storage options and I want everything to be a lot brighter and cleaner. Don’t worry. Every single time I go to Home Depot I walk through the tile and vanity section swooning over anything that isn’t standard builder’s fare, circa 2002.

$100,000:

How would I spend $100,000 right now? Well, the beauty of this list is how easy it is to change, and how often you can re-imagine your shopping list. And, my list doesn’t have to be at all practical or rational, so, here it goes: I would quit my job and take a series of international adventures. I want so desperately to go exploring, I want to go to Iceland and Scotland and Scandinavia. I want to go to Turkey and Greece and Jordan and Morocco. I want to spend a month, at least, wandering around China with a jaunt up to Mongolia and another over to Japan. I want to hike Mt. Kilimanjaro and the Inca Trail, I want to visit Antarctica and the Galapagos Islands, and I could spend a month in the museums of Paris, or Rome, or Cairo (or Moscow or Beijing or, basically, any major city you can imagine). Can I live in a village in Nepal? And wander around New Zealand? I want to go SCUBA diving in Belize and take the Trans-Siberian Railroad from Moscow to Vladivostok. I’d take the longest North American road trip that ever was planned and see everything and everyone I possibly could. I’d visit all the US and Canadian National Parks, including the ones in Alaska and Hawaii.

$1,000,000:

  • I’d enroll in a Master’s Degree program as soon as possible, ideally one with major chops and a lot of research involved. I’d love to spend my days as a student again, or, really, for the first time. I worked all through college (like, 40-50 hours a week, not 10-12 hours a week) and to be able to just spend my days studying and writing and learning…well, it’s my Millionaire Dream.
  • We’d pay off our house here in Arizona and finish up the remaining projects (those listed above, and a few other tweaks here and there, mostly cosmetic). This isn’t our forever house, so I don’t particularly want to go overboard, and I doubt we’ll stay in Arizona for very long after Blue Eyes’ kids are in college, so I don’t really feel the need to upgrade to a different house either. But, a few improvements to make this house a little better and still maintain a solid resale value, that I’d definitely do.
  • I’d buy land for our forever house, somewhere with unobstructed views of stunning rocky mountains with year-round glaciers or snow-pack on the peaks. My dream house has a two-story library and plenty of space for a full-size grand piano. I want a hot-house for year-round tomatoes and limes and a big, bright kitchen for all my culinary messing around. Plenty of bedrooms for visitors, a sunny art studio for me, large garage and shop for Blue Eyes… I’ve been sketching some version of this house for at least twenty years, another ten won’t really matter too much in the end.

So, how about you? How would you spend such sums? And please, even if you would probably sock it away in a retirement account, or pay down your mortgage or put it aside for your kid’s tuition….give me something FUN to chew on, mmmkay? It’s imaginary money, dream big!

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Harriet: Age 33

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Happy thirty-three to me!

[Insert birthday party here!]

I’ve not ever really been one to freak out about getting older, it happens to everyone and I do not somehow pedestalize youth–mine or anyone else’s. I’m thirty-three. Yesterday I was thirty-two. Not that big of a deal. (Although, I will say, that today I have cake and birthday candles, and yesterday there were no candles. So, it’s pretty clear which day I prefer.)

How will you spend your birthday?
This morning will be spent with bookish friends at the largest used book sale in the western United States, conveniently happening in Phoenix on my birthday weekend. I’m so glad they scheduled it that way for me. The rest of the birthday weekend will involve hanging out with said friends, with Blue Eyes, and generally enjoying a house full of people and birthday cake. This may go down as the best birthday ever.

Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
Happier-ish; thinner; richer (but still not rich. Powerball loser, right here.). I feel it important to note that correlation is not causation.

What did you do last year that you’ve never done before?
I was interviewed on the radio for my job; moved to a new state.

What was your favorite discovery last year?
Mary Wollstonecraft!!! Oh man, she was a pre-French Revolution major feminist. She was despised for her writing in her time, but she is such a power house!

What do you hope to learn this coming year?
Spanish. I received Rosetta Stone for Christmas and downloaded the DuoLingo app as well, I’m slowly remembering those 2 years of high school Spanish and improving my skills.

What would you like to have this year that you didn’t have last year?
New roots. I just yanked my Salt Lake roots out and still feel like I’m dangling a little, hopefully I can replant those here in Arizona and begin to feel like–at least for now–this is home.

What was your biggest achievement of this year?
I had a couple of solid wins at work this year. I single-handedly organized an enormous conference in September (793 attendees) that was a smash success; in November the program I manage for my state went off with tremendous success and media coverage, from all counts it was the best yet.

What was your biggest failure?
Probably a consistent tug of war on my attitude towards moving to Arizona. I kind of wish I had been better about that, although, I do miss home every day, so, there’s that.

Where did you travel this year?
I tried to fit in as much adventuring this year as possible, and I feel I succeeded in that. Some were documented here, others were not. I visited Arizona almost a dozen times in 2015, which kind of sounds crazy, mostly because it is crazy. I also went to Chicago twice to see my sister; visited a few parks and monuments in Utah; went on a delightful road trip through Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, and Wyoming; laughed my way through a weekend in Northern California with my best friend; drove to Montana for a week with Family Blue Eyes; hiked the tallest peak in Nevada; spent a few days in Charleston, South Carolina followed by a 4 days of humid hell in Orlando, Florida (ugh!); and wrapped up the year with a couple of days in San Antonio, Texas before I spent every spare moment packing, moving to Arizona, and then unpacking…followed immediately by a trip back to Salt Lake for Christmas. Yowza, lots of traveling this year!

Do you have a destination in mind for next year?
I’d really love to spend a week or so alone with Blue Eyes, somewhere relaxing and quiet where we can sleep in and go adventuring and just be together. Schedules and available PTO and time with his kids means this probably won’t happen, but a girl can dream. However, the beach in Mexico is also only about 4 hours away, so that is definitely on my list, as is a long weekend in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

What did you get really excited about?
Russian history and Russian literature, art museums, home improvements (yes, really), and feminism (some more).

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Quality time with Blue Eyes…now that we don’t live 700 miles apart that should be easier to accomplish.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying. Not that I really have any true control over my anxiety, but man, I wish it wasn’t so prevalent in my life.

What was the best book you read?
I cannot actually narrow this down to a single book out of over 100. I did manage to narrow it down to 11 books, here, and that should be celebrated. That being said, the books that have probably stayed with me the most are Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, by Harriet Jacobs, followed closely by Romantic Outlaws, by Charlotte Gordon.

What did you want and get?
Adventure! A dishwasher! A laundry room! To live with Mr. Blue Eyes!

What did you want and not get?
A lime tree and a pomegranate tree. Don’t worry, the yard is almost ready for them!

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being able to afford a professional moving company to pack up the apartment in Salt Lake, load all the boxes and furniture on a truck, drive it south, and unload and unpack. Ugh. I hate packing.

What kept you sane?
Friends, reading, painting (canvas, not walls), nature. Not necessarily in that order, but probably pretty close.

What political issue stirred you the most?
I am still baffled that Trump exists as a viable “political figure”, let alone a candidate for President. I also think that fear over refugees, religious differences, and generally of anyhting “other” is at a freaking insane fever pitch. Stop, just stop.

Also, last year’s answer could easily be copy-pasted into this year’s post. In fact, I think I’mma do that: I am so annoyed and irritated by the lack of true gender equality in all its forms. I can get riled up about feminism and why more people should care more about it in about 2 seconds flat. I want more people to understand the actual definitions of patriarchy, benevolent sexism, and feminism. Hint: “feminism” does not mean “man hating.” It is really just the radical notion that women are people too and deserve the same full range of rights and benefits as their male counterparts. If you think feminism = man-hating you really need to educate yourself and examine why you think that, i.e. what person or institution is trying to convince you that championing the rights of women is somehow a negative thing.

I’d like to add that flippant ignorant comments by the General Population about how women are somehow less than, should be degraded, should accept their subservient lot in life, etc. Ugh. People are the worst.

Did you fall in love?
Yes, with Salt Lake (again) and with Blue Eyes (again).

Who did you miss?
My people in Salt Lake, my nieces and nephews, siblings, and the glorious rocky mountains.

Did you learn a valuable life lesson this year?
I’m not sure if I truly learned this or not, but Dory has been in my head a lot lately:

Just keep swimming.

It’s pretty easy for me to shut down completely when I feel overwhelmed, but–shocker–that does nothing to dissipate the overwhelmed-ness. Even when I really didn’t want to, I tried to continue to put one foot in front of the other, break big projects down into smaller pieces, and just tackle what I could, as I could.

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Previous birthday posts here: Age 32

A few things I hate. Sorry, Valentine's Day.

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We all have things that drive us batty, right? Sometimes a bit crazier than average? Well, I seem to be in a cranky-puss mood the last couple of weeks–yes, my ribs still hurt like hell; no, I haven’t found a medical professional in Arizona who can bring me any relief; yes, I’ve tried every combination of over-the-counter medication; no, I’m not super enthused about needing narcotics every single day; yes, this has been going on for almost a month solid!

So, instead of trying to get my hearts-and-flowers-and-smooshy-Valentine’s jam on, I’m just gonna work with what I’ve got. Irritation and general annoyance. *For the record, I actually like Valentine’s Day, not the huge romantic gestures part of it, but things like frosted sugar cookies and construction paper hearts on every conceivable surface.

  1. Ribs, skeletal issues, body parts that hurt and will not be comforted. Ya’ll, I’m nearing the part where I am literally driven crazy by a back and neck and shoulder that just will not quit. I can see how people with chronic pain will go to drastic measures for a chance of reducing the pain. If a fairy-doctor told me to climb Mt. McKinley and locate the rare blue flower with red leaves, make it into tea, and then pour it over my head, I would book airfare to Alaska immediately.
  2. Pants that are too short. I realize the capri and ankle-length pant have been “in” for quite a while, and I’ve tried, I really have, but I just feel like my pants are too short.
  3.  Nasty drinking water. Yes, it’s wet and nourishing, but I don’t want it to taste like iron, or dirt, or feet.
  4. People who don’t use their blinker. JUST LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU ARE PLANNING ON DOING BEFORE YOU SWERVE YOUR ENORMOUS, MOVING, HUNK OF STEEL RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
  5. “Just for show.” I see stuff all over the place that is styled or Photoshopped to within an inch of it’s life in order to sell a particular idea, feeling, or encourage some kind of purchase. This drives me crazy; it just seems so fake and disingenuous.
  6. Ditto pockets on clothing that are not actually pockets, just pretend pockets. STOP LYING TO ME, POCKETS!
  7. I won’t eat chicken, or popcorn, or spicy food, or raisins, or blueberries, and half the time I will pick olives off whatever food they have sullied and the other half of the time I’ll put one on each finger and eat them like lollipops.
  8. Donald Trump. Just, no. No, no, no.
  9. The nine prickly hairs that incessantly grow on my chin. And the one dead center in the middle of my chest. Why!?
  10. Autocorrect. Hate, loathe, despise. Refer to it as Autocucumber at all times, out of spite.
  11. When people ask questions that can EASILY be answered by Google. I mean, I suppose I appreciate the thought that you assume my brain has the all-reaching power of a supercomputer, but why can’t you just look it up yourself? This is particularly annoying when people ask this kind of crap online/on social media.
  12. Those pop-up windows asking you to join a mailing list/download the mobile app  after you’ve been on a website for approximately 2 seconds. Um, hello? I don’t even know who you are/what you offer/how you live your life. WHY WOULD I WANT TO AGREE TO GIVE YOU MY EMAIL ADDRESS OR ACCESS TO MY PHONE APPLICATIONS!?!?!
  13. The suburbs. I am not adjusting well.
  14. Emojiglyphics. The cute little smiley faces are fine; adding a heart or a prancing pony or whatever after your message is fine. Substituting words for sort-of-applicable pixelated images? Stop. (Also, why is this a default setting in my phone!?)
  15. Dark tan paint, the kind that covers the interior of almost all households in Arizona. I would take builder’s beige in a heartbeat over this yellowy-brown, it’s seriously the color of sad cardboard and was on every. single. vertical surface. I’ve got 2 rooms left to repaint and they are taunting me.

I’ve made a list of things I hate before; the carry-overs are popcorn and  chin hair, although I have more chin hairs now than I did then. (Sob!) What do you hate? What drives you crazy? Pet peeves? Annoyances? Eye-roll generators?

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