I will and I won't

I will put clean, fresh sheets on my bed every 4 or 5 days.
I won’t make my bed unless company is coming over.

I will always have nail polish on my toes.
I won’t tend to my cuticles on a regular basis.

I will binge-watch TV shows on Netflix like it’s my job.
I won’t, under any circumstances, watch live TV with commercials. Can. Not. Deal.

I will send birthday cards to my siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews.
I won’t pretend I can do this without Google calendar and it’s 10-day reminder email.

I will work a few extra hours in the office to finish up a project.
I won’t bring work home.

I will spend my entire lunch break reading a new book.
I won’t skip taking a lunch break, and only rarely will I take less than an hour to myself midday.

I will give up sugars and baked goods and carby pastas for weeks at a time.
I won’t give up cheese.

I will kill 95% of my houseplants, despite my best intentions.
I won’t forget to buy myself some grocery store flowers, just because.

I will leave untidy piles around my apartment for up to several weeks.
I won’t always wash the dishes before I go to bed. (12 years without a dishwasher!)

I will read as much non-fiction as I can get my hands on.
I won’t read YA fiction unless it comes very highly recommended by someone that I not only trust, but who deeply understands the kind of books I like.

I will happily have you over for dinner, or invite a dozen people to a party on a moment’s notice.
I won’t dust before you come over because I *hate* dusting with the hate of ten million haters.

What about you? What will you? What won’t you?

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Harriet the Bookaholic: 2014 Edition

Over at my old blog I was pretty good about posting monthly updates on what I had been reading, what I thought about it, and how it ranked on a uncomplicated 5-star system. But, this last year I have been writing sporadically at best and that feature has kind of fallen off my plate. For 2015 I would really like to write monthly posts again. I love reading what you have been reading, but if it’s more than 10 books or so I tend to skip around on the post (sorry!).

I typically get on a specific (and nerdy) reading topic kick for a while and devour book after book on, say, Charles Darwin, or North Korea, or economics, or feminist theory, or, if I’m lucky, how those last two interact. I prefer non-fiction and generally steer clear of YA (I hope that even with this admission we can still be friends), I am in two book clubs and that has helped shake up some of my reading habits. All that being said, I do want to at least document what I read last year—most of this information is cross-posted with a quick paragraph over at Goodreads (Why are we not friends there yet? Find me!).

Fiction:

Crossing to Safety, by Wallace Stegner (5 stars)

Ender’s Shadow, by Orson Scott Card (4 stars)

Peace Like A River, by Leif Enger (4 stars)

Wonder, by R.J. Palacio (4 stars)

Gossamer, by Lois Lowry (3 stars)

Lost and Found, by Chris Van Hakes (3 stars)

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, by Ken Kesey (3 stars)

Suite Francaise, by Irene Nemirovsky (3 stars)

Persuasion, by Jane Austen (2 stars)

Gone Girl, by Jillian Flynn (2 stars)

Brief Space Between Color and Shade, by Cristovao Tezza (1 star)

Non-Fiction:

A Path Appears: Transforming Lives, Creating Opportunity, by N. Kristof and S. WuDunn (5 stars)

A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, by Daniel H. Pink (4 stars)

Bomb: The Race to Build–and Steal–the World’s Most Dangerous Weapon, by Steve Sheinkin (4 stars)

One Summer: America, 1926, by Bill Bryson (3 stars)

White Like Me: Reflections on Race From a Privileged Son, by Tim Wise (3 stars)

Nostalgia for the Absolute, George Steiner (2 stars)

How to Visit a Museum, by David Finn (2 stars)

Biography/Memoir:

Madam Secretary: A Memoir, by Madeleine Albright (5 stars)

Speak, Memory, by Vladimir Nobokov (4 stars)

The Road from Coorain, by Jill Ker Conway (3 stars)

Out of Egypt, by Andre Aciman (2 stars)

Charles Darwin:

Charles Darwin: Voyaging, by Janet E. Browne (5 stars)

Charles Darwin: The Power of Place, by Janet E. Browne (4 stars)

Korea:

Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea, by Barbara Demick (5 stars)

The Orphan Master’s Son, by Adam Johnson (4 stars)

Without You, There Is No Us: My Time with the Sons of North Korea’s Elite, by Suki Kim (4 stars)

Feminism:

The Yellow Wallpaper and Other Stories, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman (5 stars)

A Doll’s House, by Henrik Ibsen (4 stars)

The Butterfly Mosque: A Young American Woman’s Journey to Love and Islam, by Willow G. Wilson (4 stars)

The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know, by Katty Kay (4 stars)

Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics, by bell hooks (4 stars)

Pygmalion, by George Bernard Shaw (4 stars)

From Outrage to Courage: The Unjust and Unhealthy Situation of Women in Poorer Countries and What They Are Doing About It, by Ann Firth Murray (3 stars)

Half the Church: Recapturing God’s Global Vision for Women, by Carolyn Custis James (3 stars)

I Am Malala, by Malala Yousafzai (3 stars)

Plays and Poems:

A Doll’s House, by Henrik Ibsen (4 stars)

Death of a Salesman, by Arthur Miller (4 stars)

Emperor and Galilean, by Henrik Ibsen (4 stars)

Henry VI, Part 3, by William Shakespeare (4 stars)

Pygmalion, by George Bernard Shaw (4 stars)

Clybourne Park, by Bruce Norris (3 stars)

The Waste Land, by T.S. Eliot (3 stars)

Recommendations:
I know you probably have a list of book recommendations two miles long, but if I could give you a few more to add, these are the books that I loved the most this year that are also the most digestible to the regular every-day person. (For example, while I LOVED the massive 1200 page biography on Charles Darwin, unless you are both a book nerd and a science geek, I won’t recommend it to you because you’ll probably curse me about 150 pages in and give up.) But, Darwin aside, these three books are the ones that most altered the way I think and my outlook on the world.

A Path Appears: Transforming Lives, Creating Opportunity, by N. Kristof and S. WuDunn (5 stars)
A Path Appears talks a lot about how we as Western society help and harm–even with the best of intentions we often cause more harm than good–developing nations and underserved populations within the United States, and also makes a lot of suggestions on how we can improve.

Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea, by Barbara Demick (5 stars)
Nothing to Envy follows the remarkable and heart wrenching lives of several North Korean citizens who survive the brutality of the DPRK’s regime and the country-wide famines in the 1990s, defect to South Korea, and are able to tell their stories. It is unbelievable and jaw dropping, and in light of recent events (Sony), I think it is important for more people to understand better what exactly is going on in North Korea.

Madam Secretary: A Memoir, by Madeleine Albright (5 stars)
While Madeleine Albright was at the United Nations and the Secretary of State under Bill Clinton I was in my formative tween and teenage years; George Bush Jr. was elected my senior year of high school. I knew bits and pieces of many of the current events surrounding the war in the Balkans and Kosovo, the chaos surrounding the former Soviet Republics becoming self-governing, Israeli/Palestinian peace negotiations, and mass genocide in Rwanda. I knew all these things were happening, but I didn’t understand much of the background or political gravitas. Albright explains it all, her role, the role of the other major players, and how as the first female Secretary of State she navigated the sometimes tricky politics of being a woman in authority in Washington DC.

This next year I will be posting monthly lists of what I’m reading, which I feel are much easier and more enjoyable to digest. Until then, happy reading!

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Christmas wishes, in no particular order

I finished my Christmas shopping (and wrapping) weeks ago and at the beginning of December I made the executive decision not to get a Christmas tree or even really decorate this year. I have a Trader Joe’s wreath on my door and a grocery store poinsettia on the table, and that’s it. I haven’t unwrapped ornaments, or put up twinkly lights, or hung stockings or carefully set out my Nativity carved from Botswana rosewood. I haven’t gone caroling or even listened to much Christmas music, and despite my best intentions, I didn’t send out Christmas cards. I haven’t been a complete Scrooge, in late October I made a spreadsheet of people to buy/make gifts for, an approximate budget, and a few ideas for each. By the end of November everything was purchased and after the first weekend in December it was wrapped and tagged. Out-of-state family will be receiving their boxes of goodies well before the holiday and my spreadsheet is satisfyingly highlighted in “complete” green. (My goal of having Christmas shopping complete by Thanksgiving was very nearly met, I was just a few days off.)

I’ve already bought myself a Christmas present (or three), but there are number of other things on my wish list that I’m hoping for on Christmas morning.

1. These swoony earrings, I’ve been looking for square diamond studs for ages to match my square wedding ring. I wear diamond studs every day, and these ones are so sleek and modern!

earrings

2. Canon Ultra-Wide Zoom Lens, 10-18mm f/4.5-5.6. I could probably buy camera equipment every year until I died, but with this lens addition I think I’ll be satisfied for a couple of years. I’ve got a macro lens, an awesome “every day” lens, and this would complete my little lens trifecta. At least, for a while.

Canon

3. A pretty, purpely original watercolor. I’ve been really loving lavender and soft purple lately, so much that I even pulled two dozen lavender paint chips to see about painting a wall in my apartment (it will probably be gray, not lavender, but this sweet little watercolor would certainly cheer up a fresh gray wall).

Watercolor

4. A delicious, emerald green, buttery leather purse. I’m not really one to switch purses every day or even every week, but I wear them out because I kind of give them a regular beating….and last spring’s purse (teal cross-body) is starting to show signs of…extra love.

Purse

5. John Steinbeck’s collection of letters. Steinbeck is perhaps my favorite author, and I’m sure that after reading his (probably patriarchal bullshit) letters I’ll change my opinion of him as a man, but maintain that he has unrivaled expertise in character development.

Steinbeck

6. Gorgeous gold flatware from West Elm. Do you know how impossible it is to find lovely gold flatware? I’m not super in to mixing metals, and finding sets with gold spoon and fork ends is tricky, and finding ones that aren’t suffocating in filigree and carved florals and vines has proven, well, difficult.

WestElm

7. A couple of days of relaxation and quiet with Mr. Blue Eyes. This one is a sure thing, but I’m so looking forward to turning off work and responsibilities for a long, luxurious weekend hanging out with my sweetheart.

IMG_20141127_103719

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas full of lots of love, laughter, and surprises.

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Baby steps. (Not a pregnancy announcement.)

This year has both dragged on endlessly and flown by, I am in such a different–and better–place than I was last Christmas, but it has taken a lot of ups and downs, mostly downs, to get there.

Yesterday I decided to pull up my list of 2014 New Year resolutions and see what the damage was, I knew I wouldn’t receive any gold medals (or bronze medals) for my superior Crossing Off of Resolutions this year, even though I was pretty intent on crafting resolutions that I would be manageable but require some growth. I spent a couple of weeks finalizing my goals and an action plan for completion of each one.

People, I did not fulfill a single one of my resolutions. Not a single one.

Are there reasons for that? Absolutely. Will I get in to them here? A bit, yes. It also helps explain my spectacular radio silence for the last 8 or 9 months. January came and everything got worse. A lot worse. Multiple panic attacks a week, often times once or twice a day, and some not-bloggable bombs sent me reeling. I spent a lot of time at the doctor and psychologist’s office, and I started taking some anti-anxiety medication to help me function on a regular basis. My health was…not good. My emotional health was worse. I just…goodness, I was a complete disaster most of the time.

Spring came and with it a huge amount of work responsibility, I had spent years taking on more and more projects and had finally created enough of a demand for my services that a promotion was in order, which is–on the surface–really terrific sounding. But right under that glossy new title was months and months of 10 and 12 and even 14 hour days, trying to both hire and train a replacement in addition to carving out a new position, and launching two enormous state-wide programs and initiatives that made headlines for weeks and gave me lots of warm fuzzies and lots of work-stress nightmares.

It was the best of times and the worst of times, and that enormous work stress ball lasted from February until Thanksgiving. With the help of my boss I carefully laid out about a million steps and tasks for success with draft and final deadlines built in. I put my head down and got to work. The good news is that my program launch in November went so much better than expected, our new hire is up to speed and absolutely awesome, and I am back to working 8 hour days and leaving at 5:15 on a regular basis. And they pay me more than they did a year ago. So, awesome.

Um, yes. And also, kind of no.

The thing is, I feel like I’ve lived most of this year in a stress and panic-induced fog, but a fog where I got a LOT of stuff done–none of it on my resolutions list, but even so, I accomplished a lot this year. My to-do lists were the only thing that kept me going and I’ve gone through pages and pages and pages of tasks large and small, crossing them off one by one. I’ve just started to really enjoy the clearer air and blank to do list and….and I feel like I need a new project because I am somehow, suddenly, stagnant. I feel like I’m not moving forward. I’ve had a few weeks of “normal” and I feel like I’m floundering. When everything was overwhelming I forced myself to be very efficient with my time, which helped me see consistent progress, and now I have all the time in the world and I feel like I am doing nothing worthwhile.

So…I guess it’s good news that last week we put in an offer (which was accepted) on a fixer upper house 700 miles away.

Touche, 2015.

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Bucket List: After

Months ago I happily published a whimsical list of activities I wanted to accomplish over the summer. Um, it’s almost November, ya’ll, even the occasional sunny afternoon has a bit of chill in the breeze; summer is long gone. That being said, I don’t like leaving loose ends, so, two months late, I would like to wrap up my Summer Bucket List, with annotations.

  1. Visit the farmer’s market – bonus points for riding my bike; No bonus points, but farmer’s market was visited.
  2. Wear white pants successfully Several times, even! Without spilling chocolate or salsa or anything on them!
  3. Climb a mountain, a big one; This is a big, fat, negative.
  4. Make homemade ice cream Strawberry, my grandpa’s favorite
  5. Roast marshmallows with my stepkids; Marshmallows roasted, campfire attended with stepkids, but not both things together
  6. Dangle my bare feet in a cold mountain stream
  7. Attend a bonfire – bonus points for spending the evening updating our plan for the zombie apocalypse
  8. Make out with that very handsome husband of mine, a lot
  9. Sleep under the stars – bonus points if I can see the milky way
  10. 21 days as a vegetarian; I am counting this complete, I went 13 days but this did not accomplish what I was hoping it would accomplish (healthier eating habits), so I cut out early on Harriet As A Vegetarian
  11. Go to a baseball game (one will suffice), and sit on the lawn
  12. Run a 5k for a good cause; I ran a 5k for no cause, does that count? (No.)
  13. Many, many photo walks around my neighborhood and the surrounding canyons; Nope, not a one. Fail. But I did get better at regular Instagram posting. Not the same, I know,  but it is something.
  14. Go to a rodeo, yeehaw!
  15. Hike in red rock country
  16. Read a whole pile of books, a big pile, obviously
  17. Dinner in the canyon – bonus points for cooking said dinner over an open fire
  18. Attend an outdoor concert
  19. Eat lots and lots of corn on the cob
  20. Watch the sunset from a beautiful vantage point
  21. Keep my tomato plant alive; People I harvested 5 tomatoes AND 7 green bell peppers. I’m like a pot-gardening diva! (Not really.)
  22. Make it to September without getting any tan lines (meaning, no tan, not nekkid tanning)
  23. Go to the wildflower festival, take an inordinate amount of photos
  24. Go to Food Truck Thursday for lunch
  25. Take a midnight walk, preferably with an enormous full moon and a sky full of stars
  26. Schedule a personal day off work, take myself out to brunch and get a pedicure, for no other reason than I can.
  27. Go camping
  28. Eat strawberries off the vine – bonus points if they are sun warmed
  29. Visit one of the formal gardens in my city
  30. Go on an overnight motorcycle adventure with my sweetheart; Not on a motorcycle, but there were plenty of day-long rides AND a romantic overnight getaway, so I’m counting it. Ish.

Ok, so, 21 of 30 items complete is nothing to snuff your nose at. And I didn’t even have listed the massive apartment overhaul that happened in June and July, so that has to give me a couple of bonus points in there somewhere, right? (Right.)

Is it totally uncool to attempt to rejoin the social conversation and ask you how your summer was? Or, you know, your fall?

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